Moonlight Girl

I’ve seen you, you’ve seen me.

In the blue of the sea,

I’ve seen you, you’ve seen me.

I fell in love in a distant dream,

Living a lie until I fell asleep.

 

There in the blue I see you,

Bathing in the moon in the middle of June,

I held onto you like I was cold.

Quite sure that I was sold.

You whispered to me.

I stared in your eyes like they were the sea.

You stole a kiss from me,

It was all so easy to believe.

 

I sang for you, you danced for me,

We danced like it was symmetry.

You saw my soul, it was easy to see,

I had nothing to hide or try to be.

We were just stealing time

Like it was a silly crime.

And all before the moment died.

 

You’re eyes held mine, you whispered it was time,

I was blank; I had no words to find.

The whole thing went untwined

And I sat up in my bed.

I looked around like I was dead.

I couldn’t believe it was all in my head.

Just a silly reverie.

 

Oh why would you do this to me?

Oh cry, you stupid fiend

It was my mind playing tricks on me,

How is this fair? Please answer me,

To find love in a dream,

Such a lovely misery.

 

Moonlight girl come back to me,

A chance perchance for me to glance

You dance on a beach in the south of France.

Moonlight girl, please answer me

If I sing, would you dance?

If I see you, will you see me?

If I do dream of you, do you dream of me?

To dream before sleep

Last night I had my eyes locked,

Caught up in the air,

Staring wildly into the ceiling.

Trying to sleep, trying to get to bed.

In this complete darkness,

I had daydreams in my head,

Taking over the dark,

Filling it all with my bright ingenuity.

 

As it begins it was kind and warm.

I saw visions of old,

In colours of amber and gold.

I saw days filled with true love,

Which no gloom can get rid of.

 

But the blues came in,

Dark blue and violent violet,

Crashing with the blackness.

Together they were the storm,

Roaring the cause of sorrow and scorn.

 

All I could see was the red,

The anger in my head,

As I thought how they all wronged me,

Changed me, phased me.

All I could do was lie there in my bed,

And sigh at the cries that I had to hide.

 

But there is something about green,

Resembling the echoes of prestige,

And I know if I can take a second just to breathe,

I know I can see

That my pastures in the future

Are going to be green.

 

The dream of green hangs in the light blue light of belief

And that’s how I fall asleep,

Turning over a new leaf,

Dreaming of greener pastures and bluer skies.

Knowing that I’d rather live than die,

Hoping to see myself wine and dine

In a place I can truly call mine,

With my family, in a home, where I can atone,

For the days I spent on my own,

Living in the darkness, being alone.

Always fearing the dreary tone,

Of having to say that I am alone.

 

It’s in the morning after the rest

I put myself to the test.

Seeing if I can really attest

That I deserve to be blessed

With all those things that last night I professed.

The innocent white light of morning

Catches me while I’m yawning,

In the daze I feel like it’s a warning.

“Remember, your dreams are yours to keep.

But they’ll never be yours if all you do is sleep.”

It’s now I must take my first leap –

Oh, what weird dreams one has before sleep.

I long to be safe inside my home

I look out through the windows of my home,

It is cold outside. The winter has come.

I watch the trees sway in the bitter wind,

Wondering if they sway in pain or joy.

They must suffer the elements like us,

But do they dwindle like we do so much?

When the current of life is against us,

How many of us could stand tall like they do?

 

I watch from my house as the ice draws near,

The water yielding to the polar cold,

Like an army retreating from the fields,

Of war and death. But water lies in wait

For the sun to come and wake the free seas.

What do we do when the sun does not shine?

What do we do when grief assaults us like ice?

 

I sit inside my home, lonely and cold.

With sadness I look into that abyss.

Out there I would look for warmth and comfort,

But in here I look for peace and quiet.

Like the wind blows against this home of mine,

So does my thoughts attack this heart of mine.

The wind flows in through holes to my safe home,

Just like grief seeping into my poor soul.

Oh, if I could just pay for insulation. 

I thank you for these seeds you’ve given me.

You burrowed your gift

Deep inside my head.

You’ve left it there to grow,

With the water of my cries.

You lodged your insecurities within me,

Letting them manifest

When the mirrors of you began to jest.

 

I was a child, who was brought up through strife,

Growing his skin thicker, and mind colder.

And you’re still a kid,

Who doesn’t know what it means to be in the shit.

While you try to look tough.

Like those many years ago.

I am tough.

 

I am the resilience of the sun,

The persistence of the winter,

The sorrow of autumn,

I am what survives in the spring.

 

You made me understand the valuable lesson,

That I am not put here to be liked,

To twist and wane for other people,

I am here to do what is right.

I am here to grow,

To let my intellect blossom,

My dexterity shape,

And my character form.

 

Look at me, look at me now.

Look at this man you once called weak.

Look at this man you thought you beat.

Look at this man who’s risen to his feet.

Look at this strength I’ve gathered.

Gathered to feed the rest of me,

To kill that seed you placed in me.

 

That seed of doubt. Look at it now.

Nothing but a dried up sprout.

Through defeat I rose to my feet.

I let you claim your small victory,

But now the war has been won.

Look at me now. Look at me.

I have grown as you can see.

 

Once I was a small and searched for the light,

Look at me now, I am the light.

Look at me now as I blind your sight.

Because I am the might, I am the blight,

I am your fright and I am the plight.

I’ve had a yearning in me,

Which only the bite of spite can wright.

Won’t you allow me that chance to make it right?

A Serenade of Solemn Strings

The world played solemn strings for only her,

When they did, I’d see eyes so full of dread

That I can’t help but let mine eyes tear-shed.

Looking back now to what I knew of her,

I know there were things I could –

Should have said.

When I knew her, when she was still alive,

There were times when she’d begin to sparkle.

At times she’d be granted a gift from god,

And turn the most wonderful shade of gold.

It’s when the strings began to play again,

She’d have to withdraw, too afraid to live.

The serenade of melancholia.

Her spirit chained, ordained to be the cursed,

Even so, she gladly paid the toll though.

For without pain, what meaning has happiness?

All she told me was that she must listen.

For if she did not, she would not be worth

That shade of gold, akin a deities light.

When joy enveloped her, she gave to all.

The golden Sun warms Earth with endless love,

As did she. But weep one does all alone.

For glee is contagious, but gloom is not.

I think of her, after she killed herself.

As I do, I remember the sad strings,

And wish to have heard them, to know of them.

Yet I am busy with another grief,

One that plays heartlessly on my heartstrings.

There won’t be any shade of gold for me,

Only this blue I suffer through with things,

I wish I’d done, and regret I did not.

The only woman I loved and adored,

Died seeking to end the endless sore stings,

For in her mind she was always abhorred.

I miss she who listened to solemn strings.